Getting my story straight
I’ve had a few mentors in my life. Some bore the official title; most did not. But one thing they all had in common was the blessed objectivity to see more clearly into my story than I did.
One saw I was allowing my imposter syndrome to hold me back from seizing opportunities.
One saw I was playing it safe to protect myself from failure.
One saw I was a go-getter who could make up what I lacked in expertise with a tenacity to learn.
In short, they all helped me get my story straight.
The first time a boss invited me into her office and announced she wanted to promote me to lead my team, I stifled a laugh. Me?
I don’t have enough experience. I’m not leadership material. I’m not assertive enough. Do I even really know what I am doing?
I said no, but thank you. When she refused to accept no for an answer, I began my first role as team lead. She helped me get part of my story straight. Turns out, I am leadership material.
For nearly a decade, I taught The Hobbit every year. For a novel for young adult readers, it packs a punch of truth about false inner narratives. In fact, the book is really about how Gandalf helps Bilbo get his story straight. When the dwarves proclaim what a preposterous idea it is to hire Bilbo to do anything fierce, Bilbo heartily agrees he is definitely not burglar material. Cue my favorite line from Gandalf: “There is a lot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself.”
It’s glorious at times to have a Gandalf come alongside to see things about ourselves and goad us to challenge and change our inner narratives. I’m grateful for each mentor who has challenged me to get my story straight. But, lately, I’m most grateful for the coaches I’ve had who showed me I didn’t have to wait for my next Gandalf.
One of the things that makes coaching seem so magical is the growing awareness and capacity the client develops to draw upon their own inner resources. This illustrates a key difference between mentoring and coaching. Mentors guide; coaches empower. There are times in our lives when we certainly need guidance; everyone does. But, there are also times in our lives when we need to be empowered to be our own Gandalf. We need to learn how to recognize when the stories we’re telling ourselves are true and when they’re not.
Getting your story straight will empower you in unexpected ways. Coaching can help you learn what it takes.
